The secret to dating
16-Feb-2020 03:39
Dating can be draining for anyone, but for introverts, who get easily overstimulated because of the way their brains respond to dopamine, it can be downright exhausting.Give us some time alone, and like a dehydrated flower that’s been watered, we’ll perk back up. We can be social, but for us, it’s all about dosage (see #4). At times, it can be hard for us to get our thoughts and feelings out.Like the time I dragged myself to an extroverted friend’s birthday party at a noisy, crowded dance club (ugggggg) and ended up finding a fellow introvert who also didn’t want to be there.We talked all night, making fun of our drunk friends writhing on the dance floor, and he kissed me when he walked me back to my car. We’d had a fine-enough time noshing Thai food in a trendy downtown restaurant. Technically, there wasn’t anything “wrong” with him.It takes me awhile, even in a committed relationship, to want to do this.Whether it’s because I can’t control my environment well or the “newness” of it is overstimulating, I’m not sure.
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For example, I hate spending the night at other people’s houses.
At least, not as eloquently as they sounded in our minds. We know it’s on us to make our preferences and needs known.
What we are asking for is that you’ll do your best to understand.
I got tired, glazed-over, and snappish; my words weren’t coming out right anymore.
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If you’re dating an introvert, don’t take it personally when we retreat to the comfort (and quiet) of our home.
I can’t speak for every “quiet one,” because we are individuals, after all.
